Dear My Twin

 Dear My Twin, This is going to be a hard one, because this is one of my beliefs that has changed that is most controversial.  This is about LGBTQ+ people.  I hadn't intended to write about this for a long while yet, partly because I'm afraid. I know that believing its okay for people to be LGBTQ+ is "wrong" in evangelical culture. It's one of The Unforgiveable Sins. Even though it is not mentioned in the creeds, or any of the verses we look to for "how to be saved." Those all affirm that it's Christ alone who saves, but there is absolutely an addendum in evangelicalism of "And also remember that being LGBTQ+ is a sin."  Even if you aren't part of the LGBTQ+ community, simply believing that it's not a sin - or even that someone could be LGBTQ+ affirming, and still a Christian, is unthinkable. Because it's "wrong," it's "clearly a sin," etc. etc.  You know the arguments. I know the arguments. We grew up he...

 Dear My Twin, We are finally back from our trip, and then we got sick, and now I am still a BIT sick, but not as much, and I am ready to write.  The problem is, I have so many things to write ABOUT.  The trip to Missouri was really great, in a vacation way, and really troubling, in a deconstruction way.  We were in the Midwest, and there is a strong culture of "christianity" there - at least the American brand - and with it, a lot of misogyny, white supremecy, and anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes. We were there, and I decided I would NEVER live there. I would certainly  never raise a girl there.  I think even two years ago, a visit there would not have disturbed me as much, but at this point, there were so many things I can't unsee.  My friend Sarah has pointed out that even when I watch movies for fun, I analyze everything, and she's glad she doesn't, because it takes all the fun out of it! I can't say I disagree. It's not a lot of fun to see things, and analyz...

 Dear My Twin,  I was going to write about something entirely different today, because I feel like I've explained enough of what led me to tear everything down, that I could start showing you how and why I built things back up.  And then somebody posted a meme on social media, and I simply MUST address it.  Here is the meme: I hate this line of thinking. I hate it so much.  I used to be slightly more comfortable with it, but at this point, it just makes me FURIOUS.  Despite the "proof verse" from Isaiah 43:7, this is just a gross line of thinking.  Proof texting is taking a verse from the Bible, and using it to justify an entire theological point, or support an interpretation (usually claimed as the "literal" translation). You recite the verse, and BOOM, you proved your point, no more need for critical thinking.  It is an incredibly self-serving, and ignorant way to read and interpret the Bible. You cherry pick for the verses that say what you wan...

 Dear My Twin, We are now getting to the crux of the issue: who is God, and what does that mean for us? After learning about what abuse is, and being able to recognize how rampant it is in the church - and often defended as "good theology." What I could not escape, even in the depths of my despair, was a believe that God exists.  Not only exists, but must be good.  Good and loving.  A God that exists, is loving, and intends good for everyone and everything. That's where I started slowly rebuilding.  The creeds have been a guiding light for me as I have (and am) slowly rebuilt things. A sort of bluepirnt for a frame.  There is so much IN the creeds, and so much there is NOT.  There is not the oppression of women in the creeds. There is not the pursuit of power.  There is not oppression against the LGBTQ+ community.  There is not colonialism. There is not capitalism. There is not young earth creationism. There is the exaltation of ONE God; a tr...

 Dear my Twin,  Let's talk about "prosperity gospel." This is something that evangelicals purport to despise, especially in the guise of Joel Osteen. But it's also something they unknowingly preach and practice in subtle ways.  People speak of blessings with "because they're trying to follow God!" or "see how God has blessed me for the sacrifices I've made!"  But this is clearly turning a relationship with God into a tit for tat exchange. I do this for God, I get "the desires of my heart" in exchange.  I sacrifice XYZ for God, He pays me back ten fold.  I tithe and give money away, and God will repay me.  Which is a gross reason to be generous.  This was illustrated to me clearly the other day. I mentioned in passing how Jordan and I had sent some money to a friend who was struggling, and Mom said, "Well that's the way to get the Lord to bless you, give when it hurts!" That statement was repugnant to me. It cheapened...

 Dear My Twin, Last week, I didn't write much, as you know, and I've lost my rhythm a bit. It was a difficult week. At the end of the difficult week, we hung out with Jordan's parents, which was also: difficult.  One of the things that was difficult, was because Jordan has a LOT of religious trauma that is tied up with his parents, and the church environment he grew up in. So seeing them, and being in the same area and environment he grew up in, it brings up a lot of stuff that really hurts.  Church trauma ... is such a strange term, isn't it? It hurts to say it, I think. It's also scary to say it, because so frequently - and so quickly! - the response is "What are you talking about?" "That's not real!" "You're overreacting." "Don't be so dramatic."  It is deeply ingrained in us that Church is supposed   to be a good  place! Just like there is an almost genetic imperative, it seems, that your parents are supposed  ...